Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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