North Korea, Best Korea!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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