So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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