I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
