There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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