are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you guys were way drunker than both of me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize