Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
