so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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