just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
