I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize