Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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