I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
