He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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