Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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