So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
