they need to just BURY HIM!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
