Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
