Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
