YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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