you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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