Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
a search helicopter?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
