we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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