he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We left the knife in your bed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
