Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
