So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
