If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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