Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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