This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
