...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
