i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize