im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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