Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
