The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
