I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
