Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
