I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
