You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
