It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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