Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
