Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
