Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
