why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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