Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize