I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
