he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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