He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
