wat bout pragnant strippers??
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
