I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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