i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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