I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
