I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
