we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
