My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize