She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize