Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
