people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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