It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
