I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
