I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
