Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
what day is it and did you see me today?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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