"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
