Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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