Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize