separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
