I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
