Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
