Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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