there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
